So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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