the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
