she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
