You really coming over, don't trick.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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