You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
