At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
