You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize