Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she looked like the before picture.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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