It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
