Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
