the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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