And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
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It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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