I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
