I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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