so explain again why im purple
no
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
