i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
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No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
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I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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