I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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