you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize