your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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