i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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