What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
