dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
whose parrot is this?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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