PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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