she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
