i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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