Don't make out with my wife yet
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
