and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
