yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
