; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I puked a lego.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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