you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
