okay pat passed out under dana's car
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
worst night to have a conscience
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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