I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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