May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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