So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
