they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
