when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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