why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
