cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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