"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
