He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize