i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
