The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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