Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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