I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
