I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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