Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
soo... how was my night?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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