Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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