Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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