A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
