I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
