those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
