careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
