is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I am one with the molecules
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
