hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
