Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
