oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
