he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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