i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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