Buhtt sex?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
