so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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