All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
A+ Viking dick
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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