She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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