how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
