Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
